Taking a temporary break from your partner can either save or end your relationship, but whatever the outcome is, it could be exactly what you need.
Sometimes, when people are tired of their relationship and don’t know how to opt out, they settle for “let’s take a break”. Most often, that “break” becomes perpetual.
However, taking a “temporary break-up” might be helpful to a relationship so as to restore the lost spark and/or attraction. This type of break is meant to give both partners the latitude needed to honestly access and check if the relationship is actually worth saving.
Below are some benefits of temporary breaks in a relationship.
1. Reminder of what you mean to each other
Couples might sometimes need to remind themselves of what and how much they mean to one another if familiarity has caused them to forget. Once familiarity has led to depreciation of dignity and disrespect for the partner, taking a break could help restore what’s been lost.
2. Resolution of disagreement and dispute
When a couple discover that their relationship is filled with series of disagreements, a temporary breakup could help end the constant rift.
The temporary break may be the pause the relationship needs to figure out the reason for the incessant spats and better planning of strategies to avoid future disputes.
3. Breathing space
You might need a time out to breathe and think about what you need. It is important to know that some people lose their identities to marriage and relationships that they forget their personal dreams and ambition.
In this instance, a temporary break-up might help you reconnect with yourself and possibly give you adequate time to recognise yourself (not just your partner).
But before you go on a break, consider these…
1. Discuss parameters and boundaries.
How often will you communicate, if at all? Are you seeing other people? Are you sleeping with other people? Are you going to tell each other about it? Chances are the boundaries of what you’re comfortable with will be different from your partner, so it’s important to hash these things out from the beginning, says Matt Lundquist, a clinical social worker in New York. “To leave those things up to chance, chances are it probably won’t work out,” he says.
2. Talk openly about jealously.
If you and your partner are open to dating other people on your break, there are plenty of opportunities for jealousy to creep in. Maybe you see an Instagram of them with their arm around someone else or a cryptic tweet with heart emojis sent to someone you don’t recognize. Acknowledging that these moments will come up and the best ways to deal with them is an important step to avoid unnecessary heartbreak. “We all have to find ways to make peace with the fact that we’re not the only partner our partners have had,” says Jack Worthy, a couples counselor in New York.
3. Get ready to focus on you.
Spending time apart is a great opportunity for self-discovery. “If you spend your time pining away, that’s not going to yield a lot of happiness,” Worthy says. Learn how to be happy as a single person and organize your time outside of a relationship. The next time you enter into a relationship, you and your partner can add to that happiness, not create it from scratch.