Do you want to spark up the light in your bedroom the right way, then consider these points one after the other meticulously.
According to s*x and relationship columnist Dr Pam Spurr here are six things to stop doing now to avoid destroying it.
1. Address the stress
Stop ignoring stress levels. Identify one thing you can each change in your life, whether at work or with the chores.
Work as a team, de-stress together. Then try the super-sensual ‘figure 8’ massage – so de-stressing yet SO tempting to take it further.
Start by stripping your tops off and agree for one of you to lie on your back.
The other kneels over them and, starting at their collarbone, sweeps massage oil around their breasts and back into their waistline.
Then sweep outwards around their hips and back into their pubic bone.
Repeat this ‘figure 8’ pattern working back up their body. Then it’s your turn. Heavenly!
2. Craving kinky
Repeatedly pressurising your partner for something kinky has been found to put sexual desire into lock-down.
So if you bang on about something like anal sex and she’s resistant, go gently.
Ask if you can simply lube-up an anal vibrator and tease her – give her gentle, pleasurable strokes along her perineum and back passage.
‘Tempting’ is the key word here – tempt her into more.
Plus if you want her to go all the way, then what’s good for the goose is… need I say more?
She can pleasure you with an anal vibrator!
3. Timing’s key
One survey found a passion killer for many couples was being out of sync with timing.
More men enjoy morning lovemaking while women prefer erotic evenings.
Compromise is crucial so agree to alternate your sexy-time.
4. Taken for granted
Neglect’s a massive culprit for crushing intimacy. Problem is, most partners don’t recognise when they’re being neglectful.
Begin with something repeated surveys have found damaging to your sex life – switch off technology an hour before bedtime (I can feel your fingers twitching from here).
Partners feel excluded by your online friendships – they don’t want to see your face lit by the blue of your tablet screen.
The only ‘blue’ they want is maybe acting out a scene from a blue movie you’ve seen.
So tell them you fantasise they’re the naughty bank manager who wants a bonk in exchange for extending your overdraft.
5. Below the belt
Guys, you’d think we were past the caveman stage and all men would know about good hygiene.
But it seems from one survey this is far too common a complaint.
Some men still work all day – in the equivalent to Bedrock like Fred and Barney – and don’t shower before snuggling up.
She’ll feel neglected if you expect red-hot action when you’re red and hot after a day’s work!
So, have a sexy suds-up together in the bath. Take turns washing each other down with a face cloth, lingering where it counts…
6. Condom crises
A fear of condom failure’s been found to put a dampener on desire, with more than 30 per cent experiencing a condom tear.
If you use condoms, try a durable one like the LELO HEX or the Durex Extrasafe.
To make it more pleasurable, put a drop of condom-friendly lubricant in the tip before slipping it on him.